When I was a teenager, I looked out the backseat car window and hoped we’d get into a crash every time one of the moms was driving us to our tennis matches. Nothing serious. Just enough to dent the car and make us stop and wait for the police. It took only 30 minutes to default a person arriving late, so I wouldn’t have to play. But that never happened, and I kept competing for a few years as a junior (under 18), and then stopped playing tennis completely for a long time. I didn’t know how to do it for fun.
So why did I just register to enter a tournament? After all these years? Especially since playing games and keeping score still feels like I’m holding my hand over a hot stove. It’s just too hard. I want to go home, curl up in bed and never talk to anyone again. In a match, when the ball comes toward me, I freeze up, react late and play badly. I have to force myself to keep going. Or I just charge the net and throw points away. Which actually is fine. No one cares if I win or lose. I have a career. And it’s not like I’ll ever win prize money or get an endorsement from UNIQLO. So why bother if it’s so upsetting?
I guess it seems like real tennis players know how to compete, so I want to too. I love hitting a tennis ball and practicing shots over and over again with friends or against the backboard or with a ball machine. It’s great exercise and really fun. Except for the mental toughness part.
Recently, I’ve been watching tons of tennis videos for tips:
- Focus on the present and not on the outcome.
- Watch the seams of the ball and hit.
- Take some slow, deep breaths between points.
- Practice positive self-talk.
- Give yourself permission to miss.
- Feel your feet on the ground.
- Pressure is in your brain (the fight, flight or freeze reaction) but it also enhances focus.
- Follow a routine after each point to center yourself.
- After a point is over, forget about it.
- Focus on your strengths.
- Visualize your game plan.
- Your opponent is probably as nervous as you are.
- The ball doesn’t know what the score is.
- Have fun.
- Each match is an opportunity to learn and get better.
- Trust your training and build confidence over time.
- Think about progress not perfection.
And so on. All good life lessons, for any setting. But easier said than done.
And wouldn’t it be great to become fearless and have the courage to break through and do as well as possible? In the words of the immortal, beloved Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, missed now more than ever after the current extremist members of the court overruled Roe v. Wade:
“I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.”
So I’ll try to try my hardest. Who knows how it will come out? If it’s too painful, there’s no need to do it again. We’ll see what happens. It’s only a game. And still a dream to become a really good tennis player.